Uniquely Valuable

Here is a message that I have just come across that I would like to share with you.

“Please remember,

that no-one in the history of the

human race has made, or can make,

the contribution that you can.

You are uniquely valuable.

You can not be compared to another.

You can never be as good as they are

and they can never be as good as you.

Your unique gifts and abilities

are precious,

and their value is unquestionable.

It is your responsibility to make

the most of them

and to use them to their greatest value.

That is your only challenge.”

Maat – perfect order or truth.

Today I would like to share with you an intriguing and interesting belief that I’ve come across as I read as part of my personal growth and self-improvement.

The concept I would like to introduce is a that of Maat.

The ancient Egyptians believed that the universe was created in a state of Maat – perfect order or truth.

Maat, which was revered as a powerful goddess, had to be maintained against the dark forces of chaos.

For the king, upholding Maat meant defending the people against foreign enemies and disorder.

For all people, living in accordance with Maat meant social and moral justice : the powerful were not to exploit the weak, and all people had to strive to live in harmony with the world and one another.

This exchange of rights and responsibilities between ruler and subjects evokes a workable political system that is thoroughly relevant to modern times.

As always we are interested in your views and feelings of what we have shared today.

Take Care

Chris

Dare to be Different

A significant part of expanding your self through personal growth is being different.

The urge to conform is strong in most people, but if society was made up completely of conformists wouldn’t life be very dull?

To be genuinely different and original is a gift to treasure in ourselves and others.

It’s not easy to be out of step, to swim against the current and not all different ideas are good.

However through the ages it is the non conformists who have stimulated growth.

So do you dare?

Chris

An Explanation of Life

I came across this interesting and amusing summary of life.

On the first day, The Creator created the dog and said:
‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’

The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’

So The Creator agreed.

On the second day, The Creator created the monkey and said: ‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.’

The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’
And The Creator agreed.

On the third day, The Creator created the cow and said:
‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’

The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’

And The Creator agreed again.

On the fourth day, The Creator created man and said:
‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.’

But man said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’

‘Okay,’ said The Creator, ‘You asked for it.’

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

This is alight hearted view of what could happen in the future to Christmas and the Spirit of Christmas

The Purpose of Life, Part 2: Obstacles to Fulfilment

The jigsaw puzzle of modern life is complex, and the discussion group in Cambridge included people of a number of different cultures and nationalities.  In view of this, it might be expected that there would be quite a diverse and lengthy list of potential ‘external’ obstacles to achievement of our purpose.

Factors such as lack of financial resources were mentioned, as were societal and family pressures, and these can certainly be important in affecting our actions.

But the greatest discussion was about things much closer to home: Ourselves.

Amongst the ‘internal’ issues which people cited as being potential obstacles were regret, fear, anxiety, self-doubt, feelings of inferiority and indecision.

While some might feel that there is a certain ‘heaviness’ about this list, I felt that it was both illuminating and encouraging.

Illuminating because it showed that that the people taking part had a good degree of insight into themselves, and this is not usually something which is taught in school or by parents – and, indeed, not something which is widespread in the general population, where blaming others is often the view taken of problems.

I found it encouraging because the first step to developing and growing is becoming aware – it is for good reason that an important part of many meditation practices is the development of ‘mindfulness’.

The other thing which is encouraging is that, unlike many external factors which influence our lives, what is in our mind can come under our control, once we know how.

I will write more about this in Part 3 of this series.

Until then

Warmly,
Chris

The Purpose of Life, Part 1:  The Fundamental Question

At the Raja Yoga workshop I attended a few weeks ago in Cambridge, one of the activities for the two small discussion groups was to consider the following questions:

i) What is the purpose of life?
ii) What are the obstacles which get in the way (or might do so)?
iii) What are possible solutions which may allow these obstacles to be overcome?

These are big questions, and perhaps there are no easy answers. I’ll be writing about the obstacles and possible solutions in later posts to this blog, but for now I’ll just address the first question: What is the purpose of Life?

This is not the sort of question most of us are used to thinking about, and everyone in my group struggled with it “ no one wanted to be the first to speak. I thought that this was interesting in itself; there is surely a reason for all of our actions, even if it is often subconscious, yet we do not consider the big picture of how it all fits together into our overall purpose.

When we did get the discussion going, there was some debate as to whether the question referred to individual purpose (which would obviously be different from person to person), or some all-encompassing divine or universal purpose. We decided that the question could refer to either, and so gave our answers accordingly.

Some of the responses given were as follows:

- My purpose is to help people
- My purpose is to find peace
- My purpose is to resolve problems
- My purpose is to raise healthy and happy children
- My purpose is to live a happy and healthy life

These are all good and worthy purposes, but I found the last persons suggestion the most thought-provoking:

- My purpose is to look for my purpose “to be a seeker for the truth, open to the learnings which come to me along the road of life”

When I first heard this, I thought it was a circular statement, or some sort of riddle like a Zen Buddhist koan.

Then, after some more thought, I came to the view that, yes, perhaps this does describe quite well the purpose of many of us who are looking to develop ourselves. We may have other purposes which give meaning to our lives, including those listed above, but as we seek to grow through personal development, then we are in fact seekers and perhaps what we are looking for is our real purpose – what we sometimes refer to as “The Meaning of Life”.

It seems to me that the answer to this question of “bigger” purpose probably lies not in the outside world but within us, and that we are most likely to find to find it by harnessing our mind. The reason-for-being of the Universe may be beyond our comprehension, but we can still become more attuned to Universal Laws through mind entrainment and bring about great benefit to ourselves, those we love and the greater World. Perhaps it is our soul which is searching; but even if the search never ends, there is great value in the learnings along the way.

Bob Proctor makes reference to this in his description of all humankind as being – not “having” souls, and the perfection of the searching soul. It is clearly something to which he has given a lot of thought, and I plan to read (and, most likely, comment on) more of his writings in the near future.

This is a challenging subject, I know, but an important one. I”d be interested to hear from you and to know what you see as being the purpose of your life and, if you like, the “bigger” purpose for all of us. Please add your comments below.

Until next time,

Warmly
Chris

Personality

Personality like many things in life is sort of concrete and can be difficult to define at times. The basic definition is the relatively stable characteristics that are enduring and distinctive which means it separates people from the crowd.

Psychologists that study personalities try to analyze why people act differently to different situations such as why one person acts shy when they first meet a stranger or while some people are just natural and funny and be themselves. Some scientists believe that this is genetically engraved and that people don’t have much control over this. Other psychologists believe that it’s the environment has a significant say in the way people act. The truth is that personality is a multi dimensional topic and requires pieces from various theories because everyone is unique – thankfully.

One theory called the psychodynamic perspective was discovered by Sigmund Freud. This theory basically states that personality merely exists on the surface and to find someone true personality you have to dig deep in mind. Psychologists who support this approach believe that personality is an unconscious process, or that the individuals are not aware that they conceited or confident.

Frued was known for his controversial theory that young boys have a sexual attraction to their mother, maybe he was referring to himself with his romantic relationship with his mother who was 20 years younger than his father. A theory about the unconscious mind that makes some sense is when people are having a conversation and the speaker calls someone they know a different name. For example, if a woman broke up with her boyfriend and got a new boyfriend and calls her current boyfriend her ex boy friend name it could mean that he is still in her thoughts. Mothers how many times have you called one of your children by another child’s name? Then you wonder why the child has a difficulty in respecting or listening to what the parent says as they are thinking to themselves – what the … these guys gave me this name and they cann’t even remember it!.

Freud also believes that dreams hold important motifs in behavior. He also believed that personality can be constructed into layers like an ice berg. The part that is buried far below the water is the id or the unconscious aspect. A good example will be children because a lot of time they will act on pleasure without thinking about the end result much. If people have a strong id personality than this could be a very scary place to live. People would act on natural impulses rather than conforming to what are seen as society norms. The ego is nice to have because it helps people realize reality and help conform to these society norms.

Lastly, the superego also referred as the conscious aspect is the moral decider. It decides/differentiates what is right and what is wrong. A lot of psychologist didn’t accept Freud’s unconscious theory and a particular psychologist that was strongly against these theories was Alfred Adler. Adler believed that people were motivated by purposes and goals to achieve something in life. He also believes that people had the ability to be aware of what’s going on in their life and to consciously monitor their day to day events.

Adler also believed that people try to compensate for things they don’t have. For example, a person that tries to be superior may being doing it for their own insecurities because they will feel better about themselves by bringing other people down. This theory was known as individual psychology, in which states that people are motivated by purposes and to attain goals. When people attempt to overcome their insecurities this is known as compensation.

When psychologists ignore the unconscious mind they tend to look at the environment more when determining personality, and this is known as the behavior approach. They believe that you can only determine personality by what you see on the outside surface. For an example, if someone is shy, works hard, and is motivated to achieve something, this is apart of their personality. This theory was founded by an early psychologist named BF Skinner.

Skinner also believed that a person’s personality can change due to the stress in the environment, so he believed that personality was never consistent. Thersfore a person that is shy can be shifted to someone that is aggressive and out going, and a person that is out going can be shifted into a shy personality all due to their environment. If a person is giving a positive reinforcement for a particular behavior, than it is more likely that it will come up again in the future.

A different approach from Freud and Skinner’s theory is the humanist approach discovered by Carl Roger. This approach is a less pessimistic view, and finds the good in humans and believes that humans have the freedom to choose their own destiny. The central theme in Roger’s approach is self concept which is an individual’s view of their own abilities, behavior, traits, and personality. If a person has a distorted self concept then most likely they will be awkward to hang around and associate with. When analyzing self concept Rogers talked about distinguishing yourself between the real self and the ideal self. The ideal self is the type of person that we would like to be. If a person has a large conflict between their real self and the type of person that they would like to be than the more awkward or maladjusted they will act.

To correct this we should try to focus more on our real self and develop a positive view on it and stop caring about what other people want or expect of us and try to have more positive experiences in our everyday lives. Another way we can help develop a more positive view of our real self is by a concept known as unconditional positive regard. This term can be defined by being accepting of different individuals regardless of their behavior which is kind of hard to do. When a person is being rude, aggressive, or disrespectful, as weird as this sounds they still need support and to know that they are loved. This doesn’t mean to hug someone after they punch you, but more like “I don’t like the way you are acting but I still care about you and respect you as a person.”

Do you agree with any of the above theories and what are your thoughts on ability of a person to change their personality?. I look forward to your comments and feedback

Add to Onlywire

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

I read this book quite a while ago following its elevation to the NY Times Bestseller list and a huge amount of publicity.

My recollection is that there is one main theme: that being wrapped up in memories or worrying about the future denies us full appreciation and enjoyment of what we really have, which is whatever is happening Now.

That seems like a reasonable proposition, but does ‘Now’ really exist at all? When is Now – this minute, this second, this millisecond? We say that time passes, but in fact isn’t it more that we pass through time?

It occurs to me that perhaps one the key things which distinguishes humans from lesser evolved species is that we are the only ones able to consciously travel out of the Now. If were not able to do this, would we still be living a totally instinctive and reactive life, with the main focus being continual foraging for food?

As in many aspects of life, balance is the key. To live fully, we must be able to give our focused attention to the Now and not be driven by continual distraction. But we must also take account of the future – inexorably, tomorrow becomes today, the future becomes Now. We have to make plans, book airline tickets in advance, put money aside for our retirement, make arrangements for 101 other things which we wish to do and achieve.

What are your thoughts on these sometimes tricky questions?

Regards
Chris

PS The ‘balance’ I mentioned above is something which features in the teachings of Bob Proctor – I recommend you read more about him elsewhere on this site.

Law of Attraction Working

This real life experience has come us from Australia. The story goes that a dentist, Veronica Roller was driving home around midnight recently in her silver BMW 330. She was listening to the audio book of “The Secret” and sending her wishes out to the Universe. Suddenly she was shunted in the rear by another car. She had been rear-ended.

As she got out of her $100,000 pride and joy she was faced with three hoodlums wielding baseball bats. The hoodlums explained in very simple and expressive language that they wanted her car and they could not be bothered with the more usual methods of buying a car they had visualized, her BMW, and they wanted it now. They were following the mantra set out in the Law of Attraction – ask, believe and receive.

“It was one of the most terrifying things that I have gone through” Veronica is reported to have said. So how does this enlightened positive thinker rationalize the traumatic car-jacking. Veronica then went on to say “Most people think that the car-jacking was bad but God, no. The way it all turned out and the way that it came together was just miraculous”

Duh! After hearing a news report of her attack and car-jacking Veronica called a radio program to ask them to broadcast her car’s number plate. This was an aha moment, a month before the car-jacking experience she had wanted to call that particular radio program to complain about the hospital system. “I made the whole thing happen” she realized. “I wanted to be on that particular radio show”. Seriously, she added the publicity from her story resulted in the offenders being swiftly caught “If I wasn’t listening to The Secret that night, I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the media the day after”.

So I asked myself what are the messages in this real life experience?. Ask, Believe,Receive? or have we got to ready to receive (even if this appears to have unexpected costs).

What do you think?