Why Men Don’t Communicate - continued

Continuing with a possible answer may be that even those men who have feelings to share do not always feel at ease sharing them with their partner. Here are some of the reasons why certain men often prefer to bottle it up and internalize their feelings, rather than sharing them with their partners:

Males Need To Unwind
From a woman’s viewpoint: once a man walks in the home, he should share some of the details about how his has been so far. After all, it’s been perhaps 10 to 12 hours since they’ve communicated, that is face to face not counting the number of text messages, voice mails, and perhaps even a couple of actual phone conversations.

From a man’s view: Need to go to the bathroom. When men reach home, it’s like those ultra-marathoners lurching across the finish line in the Sahara Race. The very last thing they want to do is talk about how bright the sunlight was, the reflections from the moving sands dunes and how scarce the water stops were.

On his want-to-do-now list after arriving home to his castle: 14 percent of men want to check email (even if he does has a blueberry), 12 percent are looking for a little private time in their own bathroom, and 10 percent simply want to eat dinner. The common theme here is: after having spent most of their day serving the needs of others (their boss or customers), they want some “me time” to take care of themselves a little.

So when a man is struck with a demand for conversation so closely after surviving and returning from the stressful environment of work, he has only energy left to move into one gear, and sometimes that gear is reverse. He’s retreat, inwardly.

Most Males Are More Comfortable With Actions Than Feelings
Rather than talking about how he “feels,” often he would rather express his love by bringing home some flowers, or perhaps the ultimate - relinquishing control of the remote.

When men do talk, then they’d prefer to talk about actions rather than emotions. For instance, a lot of men would choose to express their trust in a relationship by talking about next summer’s holiday plans, not by launching into poem about undying love.

Incredibly both conversations can mean the same thing (that he plans on sticking around); he just prefers to say it with holiday bookings, rather than poetry. It’s one of the reasons why men are more comfortable talking at work (their practical universe) than they are at home (the castle that emotion built).

Men Don’t Want To Be Put On The Spot
When men talk less and women want more, the scenario can escalate. A recent survey discovered that 65 percent of men surveyed recently said they don’t want their partners to ask them more questions about themselves.

It’s clear that some men are simply plain tired of feeling like they’re in the witness box. They’re not necessarily concealing anything; many men simply prefer not to have to relate confusing feelings that they may not even understand themselves.

Some ideas for discussion ?

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This entry was posted on Friday, February 29th, 2008 at 3:24 am and is filed under Love, Personal Development, Self Help, Self Improvement. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.