Self help groups, do they help or hinder a person?
watercoloursfmr asked:
In a self help group I attended 2 times this week, people moan and groan about their situation unable to help themselves.Even after 10 years in the group they are still doing the same behaviour and wondering why.
I have heard of Gambler’s Anonymous and Alcoholic Anonymous etc. do they really help or are they just social place for fellowship with the same problem?
My problem is my feelings of low self esteem due to my family situation which is ….Father passed away 3 years aggo, Mother had dementia, brother is Handcapped with Down’s Syndrome and I am responsible for everyone ,yet no one is responsible for me. Should I get a boyfriend and that will help my situation????
I am an attractive ,professional person with a University degree and what I consider a good lifestyle…clean , honest , responsible yet I feel my background is not good compared to other families and I am not successful .
Should I try out the self help group some more ???What do other people do ???
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Tags: Happiness, Happiness, Inspiration, Inspiration, Personal Development, Personal Development, Self Help, Self HelpRelated posts
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on Monday, January 21st, 2008 at 10:10 am and is filed under Happiness, Inspiration, Personal Development, Self Help.
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January 22nd, 2008 22:55
Self help never helped anyone.
Coach
January 23rd, 2008 17:37
I have been a member of a 12-step fellowship for 6 years and it has saved my life. I had to realize that the only person I can change is myself with the help of a power greater than myself. Unfortunately, there are people who stick around and complain and moan, but that is a small percentage of the group. They cannot possibly be the example for the entire fellowship. Contact your local hospital or mental health center and see what kind of support groups they have. Most communities have support groups for care givers.
January 25th, 2008 09:57
I don’t think a self help group is going to help you. Other people have rough family situations and deal with them. The best thing you can do, is learn to take time for yourself. Find a hobby or pursue something you really want to do. Being around negative people isn’t going to help your self esteem. Self esteem, like anything in life is 90% mental and 10% physical.
January 26th, 2008 21:53
talk to a friend about it and see a psychiatristand talk to him about it. DONT get a boyfriend that will just add pressure.
January 30th, 2008 07:04
I work in counseling and yes…self help groups do help those who wish to be helped. The participants in the group get out of the group what they put in. I have seen many of my client’s who were long term alcoholics or substance abusers, and they were able to quit. Of course 80% of abusers relapse at least once but you have to want to get better. Groups have been proven to be the best (and cheapest) form of psychotherapy, and they do work. If the self help program you are using does not seem to help, shop around for another, or there are many local Community Mental Health Centers available. Hope this helps! Good luck to you.
February 14th, 2008 06:04
Motivational seminars are good but you gotta realize something. Nobody can help you if *you* don’t want to help yourself in the first place.
February 14th, 2008 21:51
You sound a very plucky lady!
I think tomarescobar has given you good advice. Self help does work, but as she says, if you don’t find the group helpful then find another.
Always ‘looking back’ and groaning and moaning never helped anyone - and I don’t mean facing and ‘looking at’ how you feel which should take only a minute or so and is REALLY necessary to do before you start to look forward to where you want to ‘go’.
Roughly speaking, ‘what you focus on is what you get’ so keep looking for a more courageous group and I warmly wish you all the best - by the sound of you I am sure you will succeed.
By the way, how about reading some of the good old self help classic-stuff - like ‘The Science of Getting Rich’ by wallace wattles, or the more recent ‘The Secret’ - and reading them many times, a little a day, can work wonders over a period of 2 or 3 months.
There really is a lot of good stuff out there.
All the very best to you, my dear!