Self harm urges worse using self help book?
Reading time: 1 – 2 minutes
Jen asked:
I’ve been a self harmer for 2 and a half years, and I’m trying to stop……..I’ve bought a self help book called “The Scarred Soul” and in it there are exercises where they ask you to write out answers to specific questions about your self harm in a journal.
Anyway, the thing is, as I’ve been working through the exercises, I’ve been getting strong urges to self harm – writing about it makes me want to do it more, and reading certain parts of the book almost gives me ideas of alternative ways to self harm.
I was told this book was really good, and I do want to work through things and eventually stop self harming, but is it a good idea to continue with the book when it’s making myself harm urges worse? What should I do about this? Any suggestions would be appreciated, thanks.
You know, telling people to go kill themselves is really nasty and unhelpful. If you don’t have anything worth saying then don’t say anything at all. I’m not on here looking for sympathy or attention or anything like that, I just wanted some advice on a problem, what’s so wrong about that???
Oh, and I am seeing a psychiatrist, she’s the one who suggested getting a self help book like this one and working through it, but I don’t have another appointment to see her until June.
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... | | | 
Subscribe to It!
This entry was posted
on Monday, December 31st, 2007 at 5:15 am and is filed under Self Help.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
January 2nd, 2008 06:51
see a therapist. It’s the only way
January 3rd, 2008 22:33
i recently have had probs with cutting myself. When you start to address why you self harm its gonna make you want to do it more. All those reasons are probably painful and cutting releases the pain a bit. Whatever is inside does need to come out but only do as much as you can handle. Along with the book you should try some counsuling so you can explain out loud what is going on and have support. Cutting or self harming in my opinion is kinda like a drug.
January 7th, 2008 09:40
Don’t feel bad about self-help books. They’re a good idea.
And don’t listen to that B****** that told you to buy a rope. Keep reading and surround yourelf with positive ppl.
January 11th, 2008 06:37
I am not familiar with that particular book, but it seems likely that your urges to cut would increase as you begin to address your issues and feel your feelings, particularly if those feelings are the thing that triggers to desire to cut in order to numb yourself (dissociate). Remember that everytime you feel the feelings and don’t cut, you’ve just taken a giant leap towards the goal of being able to develop affect tolerance. You can be triggered and feel the urge to cut more and still choose not to act on it. If you view the ultimate goal as being able to feel without having to cut, you will see what’s happening right now as progress, which it is. When you feel the feeling and resist the need to alleviate it immediately with cutting, only then will you begin to be able to explore and find other healthy methods of self-soothing.
What I do recommend, however, is a process known as pace and contain. What it really means is that as you attack this issue (and the exercises in the book) be sure to limit yourself to only a little at a time and do not go on to the next piece until you have successfully mastered the piece you’ve just done without allowing yourself to cut. Although you may be very anxious to get this over with and resolve the problem (which may cause you to delve into the book too intensely at first), you need to pace yourself and go little by little, allowing yourself the opportunity to get through one thing at a time. And actually that process itself becomes a skill you will later employ to help you manage feelings by setting limits on how much you will tolerate and for how long.
Good luck and talk with your therapist who I’m sure will help you set some limits too on how to continue your recovery!
January 12th, 2008 11:29
The best thing to do would probably be to work through this book in a controlled environment. Maybe call your counselor and see if you can set up sooner appointments so you can work through the book with her and that way she will be right there when you feel like you need to self harm and she can help you with that. It probably would not be a good idea to do it on your own if the book makes the feelings worse.
January 15th, 2008 22:50
Yeah.. sometimes working through things.. does make you want to repeat the problem. I have been cutting for.. over 20 years.. only been trying to stop for the last couple of years.
My advice would be have a set time to work on the book.. and do everything you can once that time is over to do things that pull you away from the urges. have and KEEP plans to go out with friends, go to the park, running, excercise, read a totally different book.. Since this involves writing.. get and set an egg timer or another alarm.. and stop when it goes off..
Probably the biggest thing is NOT to push yourself.. you don’t have to finish the book in a month.. or any time period.. take time and think through what’s going on.. write about it in your journal later.. but take time for self care.. and realize that the only time table you have for healing is the one that is right for you! not your counselor, not your friends, not your family. YOU!