Help to improve a writing sample for an English learner?
sallyzhang_86 asked:
Hello everyone ?
English is not my native language and writing in it is really a headache, because I can’t tell if my work is alright. As I have to take the GRE test, would you like give my some suggestions on the sample I have written? If you could give me the better way to express some meaning, that will be great… thanks to your warm heart, and If you want to learn Chinese, my first language, or know something about Chinese culture, feel free to leave your message here…
Thank you guys again…
Writhing sample:
The words, self-improvement and personal growth are quite common in our society nowadays. I think the idea of self-improvement and relative products and services are a sign that we are brave to understand our personalities and to admit our intrinsically deficiencies. The honest and realistic attitude could definitely help a person to improve in some aspects which could eventually help one conquer some of the deficiencies and live a happier life.
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This entry was posted
on Saturday, September 29th, 2007 at 3:31 pm and is filed under Self-management.
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October 1st, 2007 04:25
The words, self-improvement, and personal growth are quite common in our society today. I think the idea of self-improvement, relative products, and services are a sign that we are brave to understand our personalities. Also to admit our intrinsically deficiencies. The honest and realistic attitude could definitely help a person to improve in some aspects. Which could eventually help one conquer some of the deficiencies, and live a happier life.
There were some run on sentences, and when you have three things, you should have example, example, and example. But overall it was very well done!